...Much Overdue
I have been seeing people post their daily additions for
what they’re thankful on Facebook over the past couple of weeks, and it has me
thinking of all the many things I’m thankful for too. I didn’t want to join in on daily messages
late, but all those thoughts of course lead me to Madison, which in turn made
me want to post a lengthy update on our blog (because it is long overdue).
CAVEAT – I am going
to free type here. I have many thoughts
floating around in my head without any real direction. I’m not going to proofread when I’m
done. It’s too much. Find the heart of what I’m trying to say, and
let that sink in rather than letting my poor grammar trip you up. So, stick with me here and you might
understand everything by the end rather than getting lost somewhere in the
middle.
So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, I am going to attempt to
tell you all the things I’m thankful for with regards to Madison while
attempting this update at the same time.
I am so thankful
Madison was born in 2010!
For those of you that don’t know, Madison had to have
another surgery this past February to correct some significant bladder
issues. Long story short, because of her
Spina Bifida (and damage to her spinal cord), we are pretty sure Madison
doesn’t feel the sensation to urinate (pee for us common folk). Furthermore, as a result of having to
catheterize her for the first six months of her life, bacteria took up
permanent residence in her bladder. So,
since she never peed on her own and continued to reintroduce stagnant urine
back into her kidneys, she was much more sick that Mandy and I could see on the
surface. Madison was fighting a nasty
infection under the surface, and her only symptom was a suppressed appetite. She went almost a whole year without gaining
any weight. Once we finally identified
the culprit, her urologist at Vanderbilt told us she needed a vesicostomy (the
crazy sounding surgery where her bladder is moved and opened up to constantly
drain urine through a stoma in her abdomen (pee hole in her tummy!). It sounds pretty dramatic, I mean really who
wants a kid with a hole in her belly that constantly leaks pee? And trust me here, pee has gotten into places
nobody ever intended. Anyway (trying to
move forward), this surgery was exactly what her little body needed. After some difficulties, she regained her
appetite, began to put on weight, and her strength and energy markedly
improved!
Now, I say all that to say this… Would this surgery have
been possibly 50 years ago? No! Would it have been possible 30 years
ago? Maybe?!?! What is possible this year? YES!!!
The Lord planned Madison for these years, because the necessary medical
procedures existed for her benefit.
Don’t misunderstand me here, God definitely wasn’t waiting on the
medical profession to advance to a point where He felt comfortable in bringing
Madison into the world. He could heal
Madison any way and any point in time He chose.
However, to His glory and her benefit, He chose her to be born now and
to be treated this way. A child with her
type of Spina Bifida and symptoms born 50 years or further back, I wouldn’t
give any chance of making it. This was
clear to me after reviewing some photos of Madison and matching up with what
was going on with her medically at that time.
She was downright sick, but we couldn’t see it. If those things had been allowed to continue,
without divine intervention, they would have swallowed her.
Remember, I’m not even mentioning the surgery to close her
spine, or the shunt placed in her brain here.
She was chosen for this point in history or HIS-STORY (think about
it).
I am thankful for car
rides to Madison’s school every morning!
One of our initial concerns for Madison was where she would
end up cognitively and socially. Three-quarters
of people living with her type of Spina Bifida have less than average
intelligence. Selfishly here, Mandy and
I struggled with this because we’re educators.
Mandy’s an excellent teacher (won outstanding CTE teacher in the
Southeast a few years back and was up for National Teacher of the year), and I
work as a college administrator (I got a thank you card once), so education is
an essential part of who we are. The
first year we had Madison, there were still large concerns of ours because she
was delayed in so many areas. Well,
since many of you haven’t met Madison, let me announce to the world that these
two areas are no longer of concern!
Madison is the happiest person I know, and she is smart as a
whip that is sitting on top of a tack that is sharp (again, think about it… if
you give it some time, you’ll get there!).
She will love on anybody and is so sincere with her affection at such an
early age!!! Now listen, she’s a looker
and daddy isn’t going to let her date until after menopause, but I’ll let her
give you hugs and kisses galore!
Besides her status as a budding socialite, here’s how sponge
like brain works on the way to school every morning (I’ll play it out
conversationally for you):
After leaving the house a driving for a few minutes:
Madison: “Daddy?” (in that sweet little voice)
Daddy (that’s me): “yes pooty” (don’t ask me why I call her
pooty)
M: “What you doing?”
D: “Driving Monkey” I also call her monkey
M: “Daddy driving?”
D: “Yeah Nugget, daddy driving” nugget too… I’m pretty sure
she going to have MPD
M: “Daddy, Ion (short for I wanna or I want to) sing ABC
song”
D: “Okay Madison, but let’s say the ABC’s first okay”
M: “K”
D: “You start okay”
M: “K” à “A”
D: “A”
To which over the next few minutes Madison will say her
ABC’s (while getting caught up on M and N, but for the most part, she’s got ‘em
down). After she finishes, she reminds
me of the bargain to sing the ABC song as part of the agreement to say the
ABC’s first. So, we sing the ABC song
and she does her best to following along.
Now, here’s where it get’s precious after we sing the ABC song.
M: “Daddy?”
seriously, the sweetest voice you’ve ever heard
D: “Yes ma’am”
M: “Ion sing Jesus”
To which we duet Jesus Loves Me while driving to
school. After Jesus Loves Me, we will
start the process all over with wanting the ABC song, daddy bargaining to say
them first, and them encoring with Jesus.
I have no more worries or doubts about that little
brain!
I am thankful for
such a loyal family surrounding us
Just this past week, Mandy and I were asked to give (as
briefly as we could) our history as a couple to our Lifegroup at church. To sum it up, we know God brought us to
Cookeville for some very specific reasons.
First, Mandy had some medical issues that we left unresolved in South
Carolina that a physician diagnosed and corrected shortly after arrival. Second, we found Stevens Street Baptist
Church. The people that make up this
place adopted us. Enough said. Third, Cookeville is equidistant between our
parents in Chattanooga and Nashville (which is great because at least our
parents have to give us a little notice before driving up). Finally, our ability to get Madison to
Vanderbilt has been critical to her care and success.
However, for this section, I am going to focus on the third
installment listed above. As I said, we
have no genetic family here in Cookeville.
We have adopted brothers, sisters, moms, and dads… adopted through the
Blood of Jesus Christ, for what other reason than because He adopted us than
all these Cookevillians adopting us? So,
while we may have no genetic family here in Cookeville, make no mistake is
assuming we don’t have Blood Relatives here.
They are everywhere. They’ve got
our back! They tell me t this day (2 ½ -
3 years later), they continue to pray for Madison every single day. I cannot even say that I have prayed for my
own daughter every single day of her life, but I believe my family members when
they tell me they have! That’s
family! That’s the kind of family that
only Christ could create.
I want to drive this point home… some of you will know this,
but let me remind/tell you all what this family of ours (and please understand
that this also includes genetic families too) has done for us over the past
three years.
The mountains of prayers aside, they have carried us. At the same time we were dealing with
Madison’s early struggles, I was out of work ¾ of 2010 for three spine
surgeries. I went months without getting
paid, and our genetic and heavenly families provided. After starting back to work, Mandy and I were
hit with this sinkhole of medical debt.
Two of our sisters put together a Pampered Chef fire sell to help raise
money for Madison’s medical bills.
People were so touched by this, they just ended up sending us cash
without buying anything. Well, we
received the exact amount needed to remove Madison’s medical debt from our
ledger. Someone out there, please convince
me there is no God?!?!?! Finally, I
shared privately with a friend of mine that Mandy and I planned to use our 2012
income tax refund to get hard wood floors in our home so Madison could use her
walker. However, that desire was taken
from me when I needed to use that entire refund coupled with the donated money
to cancel out all the debt. Long story
short, a week later, one of our friends a church brought me a check to cover
most of the cost of new flooring. We had
to hold on to that money a little longer than desire, but praise God hard wood
floors went into our home in October and for the first time ever, Madison
literally walked through our house three weeks ago. So, again I ask how big is your family? You gotta mom/dad, brother/sister, grandma/grandpa,
aunt/uncle, etc… Your family big with 10-15?
You should see my blood family, we run thousands deep, many of them I
will never meet this side of heaven.
However, I will meet ‘em some day.
Believe that!
We cannot possibly be more thankful for our family, all of
you!
I so want to keep
going!!!!
If you have kept reading up to this point, all I want to do
it keep typing. My blood is
pumping. I am getting excited about
someone reading this who doesn’t know about the Love of God, and I want to keep
going. However, I’m going to wrap here.
Pray big for Madison.
If you’re continuing to lift her up to God, don’t pray she walks, pray
she runs. Don’t pray she can learn to
use her legs properly in spite of the fact she cannot feel her feet from her
ankles down, pray she gets that feeling back (which all of her doctors tell us
will never happen… however, these claims come from the same profession [even
though different people] as the moron who recommended we abort her, and told us
she would never be able to use her legs at all). Don’t pray we will successfully reverse the
vesicostomy and place a permanent catheter in her belly button, pray she gains
control of her bladder so she can go pee like a big girl. Long story short, don’t waste your time or
prayers praying to the King of creation for things that are possible with human
intervention. Ask him for the crazy
things for her that cannot be medically explained, but can be divinely
explained quite easily.
I want to desperately for Madison to meet and hug every
person who has prayed for, given to, or cared for her. It is something very special to be the parent
of a little miracle that is loved by so many people.
I wouldn’t want anything to be any different that the way it
is exactly at this moment. Everything
has lead us all here to this exact point and time, for me to placed in the
circumstances to write and care enough to write this message, for you to care
enough to read this message, and then for you to be challenged to do something
about this message.
If you know God and believe He sent His Son here to save us,
thank him for every blessing and trial you’re currently in. If you don’t know or believe yet (but you may
know or believe this story), ask this phantom God dude to reveal the truth to
you.
Madison is going to change the world for forever (heck she
already has). I pray this message will
somehow, someway lead someone towards accepting the gift Christ has to offer.
Only God can save, but this letter might stoke the fire just
a little bit!!!
All my heart has to offer!
Dustin
“God loved this world so much, He decided to send His only
Son down here to save us so that we have life here to the fullest and especially
for life after here”
